Whilst I’ve been at work since I got back from Uni I’ve had the chance to get some thinking time. I’ve been pondering the possibility that I may be an inherently bad person,a bit of a cunt. However I cover up the bad by trying to do acts of good now and again. Now this is not something that I’ve recently come to acknowledge… I think I have known this for some time but this is me partly facing up to it.
I’d rather portray the image of a Nice Guy not only because it is socially encouraged [after all no man is an island] and acceptable but also because I don’t think I’d like the alternative. Being myself would not only alienate me from the people I’ve grown close to over the past couple of years but would most probably make me a bitter person; someone unable to find joy in even the simplest of things. I’ve grown to like who I am now and even though trying to do good may be a far cry from who I really am, I like the trying part.
[EDIT]
I also acknowledge that this makes me fake, at least to some extent, and fully accept that along with the repercussions that come with it.